Meeting --
Two refugees meet in a restaurant
Clutching some broken and synthetic thing
To keep their heads above the unseen waves
Sitting beside the crooked restaurant wall,
Their architectural design defects
Are cloaked by art and painful angling
Transformed by some resemblance of light
The porcelain tile shimmers between their knees
Their hungry smiles reveal some missing teeth
Across the hayfield mounting thunderheads
Will drop a chill as soon forgotten as
The strangeness of his hand upon her back
LFM
wish there was a way to talk with you privately about your poem, Lowell. There are issues with this one ("some", "their", and what the hay??) I don't want to be more explicit here until we've had a chance to chat.
ReplyDeleteThanks for this, Sandra. Ways to communicate..are you on Face Book? There is a message feature there. I am listed under Lowell Murphree. Friend me there. Email is a possibility but a second choice. "some" (I presume "some resemblance of light" may seem too indefinite, too soft? It is open ended what kind, what source could emit a resemblance of light. "their" -- you will I expect be more explicit about this pronoun. and "hay" as in hayfield...yes...not so many people live near a hayfield, or would glimps it out a window as I can. Of course I realize there is disconnect and darkness in this poem.
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ReplyDelete"Issues" sounds ominous.... "{Possibilities" is a good Emily Dickinson-ian term. My outlook is that where there are issues there are also usually possibilities.
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